Monday, December 24, 2007

Magnificent Moral Michael Vick Porridge

: Dope picture of Michael Vick

A few months ago, while i was at work, the Michael Vick story broke. I work at a bar on mondays, that has about 5 large HD screens, and plays espn all day and night. I dont know anything about football, and i have no clue who Michael Vick is to any other football player. After hearing the charges, and the whole story unfold throughout the night and on into the next week i couldnt help but notice the people on tv and the people sitting at the bars reactions. "He should be put away for 20 years!" yelled a man sitting staring at the tv. "What an animal" said the woman sitting next to him. Protesters lined up outside on the streets. News anchors all squeezing in their disgust, and their shame aimed towards the man. Countless amounts of football fans being interviewed, one after another, all slamming, and shaming Michael Vick for the hideous, INHUMANE things he had done to his dogs.

this is one of the many many articles on Michael, scorning him for what he had done.
I for one would like to see Vick spend some more time looking through iron bars, but the judge in the case followed what he interpreted as the law. The former Virginia Tech and Atlanta Falcon star, who also starred in dogfighting, will lose a lot of money watching football in the prison recreation room instead of playing it in the Georgia Dome. That somehow makes animal lovers feel a little better. The painful longing he will likely feel while he is behind bars instead of behind center is well deserved.

he follows it up with saying :

An even better scenario would be for the Falcons to win the Super Bowl while Vick is out. His team winning with another signal caller might bring his inflated ego down a bit, which is much needed.

The length of the term will likely allow Vick to play football again, which I believe is unfortunate. It would be the ultimate punishment if he never put the pads on again. He will be in his mid 30s when he gets out, which still gives him time to be productive in the National Football League.

this guy hates Michael Vick, and so do you.

Why?

While all this attention and outcry pours out from every side of the country, i couldnt help but ask why? This clearly is not just "animal lovers", these are kids, football fans, parents.... people. Michael Vick trained dogs and abused them. Im not trying to dumb down what he did. Yes its awful what he did, its awful. But this goes to show the disconnection people have, and the delusions they carry around with them as they go throughout the day bitching about people like Michael Vick. Why are americans so bent out of shape over what Michael Vick did to dogs, while they continue to show no remorse for their own hand in grotesque animal abuse?

As a vegetarian, i encounter loads of the popular *rolling of eyes*, and the condescending giggles. People are disconnected. So disconnected that we show the utmost compassion towards specific things, and socialized ethics. Such as dogs and cats in america. One look at a video, such as earthlings,
or meet your meat, will give you the idea that our connection towards food and animals do not exist. I feel like i live in a time where something horribly wrong is happening right in front of me, and the consensus thinks im a pussy. Much like people in the previous time fighting for black rights or women rights. A book called "Womens Liberation" was written in the late 1800's by Qasim Amin, arguing, women deserve the right to do everything a man can. This book was mocked all throughout the world, up and down the block. People making books called "Animal Liberation", saying animals should have the right to vote. Im sure followed with deep bellows of lol's, and even some roflol's.

Every day i question if im doing the right things, and ive come to think thats the role of life. This isnt something ive invented, or feel unique for doing so, people have been doing this forever. From slavery, to womens rights, to laws such as murder, and theft, etc. Is this right what i am doing. Sure a lot of people could care less, and they will just follow along with the crowd or goto jail. Whatever laws we come up with, this is what most will follow. Laws are based on common ground, in which we can all agree, something is horribly wrong with that specific action. Of course you know that, and i dont mean to talk to you like you dont, i just want to clarify. This also falls into the lines of people that recycle, people that dont litter, people that donate money to charities. These are all acts done on having the knowledge of the connection of action and result and what we believe is right.

Back to what is right.


I have a penis.

I can wake up today and choose what i do with my penis. I can hold it. I can hit my roomate with it. I can have sex with my girlfriend. I can hold it and stare in the mirror saying "im a star, a big bright shining star", or i can even rape someone with it. All of which i am capable of doing, but my judgement comes into play and says, "hey, maybe hitting your roomate in the face with your penis would be very awkward, and would most likely lead to some sort of getting punched in the face." or "hey, if i rape that girl, i would be a horrible person, and go to jail." right? This all because i have free will, to do anything i want. Having ethics, i choose to not do certain things, and you do too. Just because i can doesnt mean i should.

While it is very true that we can wake up, and go get a triple cheese burger from mcdonalds with a super sized smile, it seems that again we are faced with the question, should i? Because getting that burger means our hands are just as dirty as the hands that brought life to the animal, that fed it steroids to make it grow, that put a blade into the neck of the cow, that sent the insides to Mcdonalds. Just because you can, doesnt always mean you should. I was a meat eater for years. I wasnt held in front of a swirling image and told not to eat meat. Im not part of a cult with a misguided hidden agenda. Im not a person that thinks animals are cute and cuddly, so we shouldnt eat them. Im not a product of lies, or ideas, or faith. Im not a wild eyed, crazy, new age hippy. While there are parallels to religion and veganism, the two are undeniably different, with one little huge thing called faith. Saying your not going to support animal torture and slaughter requires little of you. Being vegan or vegetarian doesnt ask you to do anything, it doesnt ask you to believe, it simply asks you to stop eating animals.

Sure Michael Vick is a villain, but under whose standards? Its all the same, through a person such as myselfs eyes. Suffering is suffering. Whether it is a dog, pig, cow, dolphin, cat, or a bird. Not only is the slaughter brutal and very real, but the time in which the animal spends waiting for this day, is much worse. I cant help but be haunted by the hypocrisy of the rage that has spilled all over the streets in america and around the world. Yes, its awful, but its all awful. Until the connection between animals and the #7 combo meal is made, ignorance will prevail.

On some positions, cowardice asks the question, is it expedient? And then expedience comes along and asks the question, is it politic? Vanity asks the question, is it popular? Conscience asks the question, is it right?

There comes a time when one must take the position that is neither safe nor politic nor popular, but he must do it because conscience tells him it is right. This is the challenge facing modern man.

--- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.


Monday, October 29, 2007

Pompous vegan-mediterranean-ish-nacho porridge

1 pkg of the Soy Tempeh
2 tbs of minced garlic
2 tbs of vinegar
Olive Oil
Tomato and Garlic Marinade packet (or however you want the "meat" to taste.
1 bag of tortilla chips ( i used the blue kind )
1 bag of shredded vegi-cheese (mozzarella kind)
vegan feta
Garlic Salt
lettuce, tomatoes, black olives, artichoke hearts


First take a pan and lace the pan with the olive oil. I poured a little more than i usually do in this one, being that i like my tempeh really crispy. After the oil is good and hot, crumble the tempeh up into small pieces and drop it in. Dash about 1/3 of the packet of seasoning onto the tempeh, and add your garlic as well. I also add the garlic salt too, but you can use just regular salt, im just a garlic whore. Then stir in your vinegar. After the tempeh starts browning on the bottom, flip it and stir it around till it all gets brown.
DSCN1082
While the tempehs browning start the oven on broil and get your chips and stuff ready. Take a baking pan, put some foil down, and empty the chips onto the pan.
Put as much cheese on it as youd like. When your tempeh's about ready,
put the chips and cheese into the oven, it only takes a few minutes for the cheese to start melting. Take the chips out of the oven, put the tempeh over the melted cheese.
DSCN1084
Next just dress it up with the lettuce, tomatoes, black olives, artichoke hearts, and vegan feta. I also thought about drizzling some vinaigrette lightly over the top. Check it out, turned out awesome!

DSCN1088

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Parody Pumpernickle Porridge




I love parody movies. Watching parody movies have always been an event to look forward to. They were clever, and satisfying. Maybe i was not much of a challenge to make laugh in my young youth, but even today some of the ones i watched growing up are still fucking funny. I know there's older classics, and i dont care to get into all of them. Movies like "Airplane", and "the naked gun", and my favorite "top secret!", all share a common gene. They're funny. There is an art that has been lost in making these movies. Somewhere in between "mafia!" and "scary movie 3", someone lost the parody movie formula. They had it, and it worked, for the last 50 years. Someone had to have walked in, taken the formula, and drank it. I do have a more logical theory. Its not an absolute truth, but it makes a lot of sense.

I blame : Y2K

Somewhere in the year 2000, the movie "scary movie" was released. There were a shit ton of teenage hacker movies that were being dumped out of the same asshole, for the same assholes, for some time. i get it. Although this movie was funny, it started something. The formula was lost, being the only thing affected by Y2K, the Wayans brothers re-wrote it the best they could. And it worked alright. BUT, other assholes from around the world took notice, and thought, "hey! those dudes did it without the formula, so can us! come'on phil get my dell laptop!" Scary movie two was funny, and scary movie three was like the last squeezed out fart from the makers. I believe they started advertising the scary movie trailers as "from 2 of the writers from scary movie!" or, "from some guys who thought we can do it cause we saw scary movie..". Now there is 4 scary movies, and a fifth one due out in 2008. The formula they're using is unbelievable. I was able to snatch one of the templates from a book : "parody movies for dummies", i found in the blackmarket, in the highlands....



This book of course was put out and distributed by the creators of "date movie", and "epic movie", and whatever other shitty movies. No ones doing anything about it. I dont understand, these were awesome movies that have worked for ever, why is this happening? Its been 10+ years since weve had a solid parody movie to watch. After some sleepless googling, i came across some of the diarrhea we can all look forward to splashing us in the face and ears from the tv, and myspace.

1. Meet the spartans
Meet the Spartans



2. The comebacks
(I havent seen this movie, but please take note of the amount of he-just-got-hit-hee-hee jokes just in the trailer alone)


there's also one thats listed as in the works called "fantasy movie" or some shit. Surely, judging by the title, it will have the same stink weve grown to know over these movies.
If a film maker is reading this, Please hear me weap. If you're part of the problem, stop. please. if you have the means of helping the problem. help. please.